Do you have what it takes to be in the White House? Are you ready for the challenge of a lifetime? Then take part in a search for the perfect running mate for Russell Hirshon. As Vice President you will handle all of the duties normally assigned plus everything the President is too lazy to do such as:

• Go to small foreign countries and deliver messages of good will, while the CIA is parachuting into their jungle to lead an insurgency.

• Greet people as the jump the White House fence.

• Sleep with all the people the President would like to but can't.

• Go to Capitol Hill and suck up to all the Congresspeople for their little inconsequential votes

• Meet people that have managed to mask their real backgrounds while posing as genuine do-gooders.

• Visit disaster areas and act concerned and then blame Congress for not acting quicker to aid them.

• Backstab as many people as possible that utter any words of disrespect towards the Commander In Chief and keep a running list for later use.

• Collect gifts and kickbacks for after term use and set up as many connections as possible.

• Crank call Foreign Heads of State,ie: "Boris.... Boris, we are past failsafe, repeat we are past failsafe!"

Russell Hirshon for President 96

3220 N St, N.W.,#142

Washington D.C. 20007

Here are some of the people that have sent in already! The believers

And now So many people have entered we have More Contest Believers Winner will recieve

• Dinner on the town in the city where you reside with the Pres (Russell) and Campaign Manager Jen Wilner. You may bring a light eating friend.

• Official Vice Presidential status on the Presidential home page

Also include name age and any relevant info you might think useful in winning this contest.

Remember your never too young or too old to get involved!