Who is Russell Hirshon?

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	If elected To the Office of President of the United States I would do the following:

I would finally end the Whitewater hearings and send those people who have spent the last two years looking for something to dig up on the Pres. and his wife, down the river themselves. I would have a big party for all those Military types hanging out in Bosnia protecting those civilians. Open Bar of course. Try to figure out why Congress could keep working while they furlough the rest of the govt. when its congress that should be laid off. Have a nightly comedy show live from the oval office and fill my cabnet with better comedians than they have in there now! Finally get a chance to buy all those internet stocks that the rich people and insiders get to buy while the rest of us hear what we missed out on. Lower cable rates so that I'm not paying more for cable than I am for the electricity that runs my whole damn house. Confirm that the Greatful Dead are truly greatful and that they are now really dead. Employee of the month Outlaw parking tickets. Make executions available for viewing on Pay Per View with proceeds going to the victims. Blow up the Energizer Bunny once and for all. Furlough Congress without Pay Ride my bicycle across the United States just to see exactly how big this place really is. Drop the Import Ban on Cuban products and have myself one big fat cigar. Make everyone in the govt. re-apply for their jobs and then give everyone a pay raise who happened to make the cut. Find out exactly how far down that elevator in the White House goes and play a game of capture the flag in all those tunnels. Question why Congress gets the same amount of work done when Washington is shut down as when it is open.

	My cat Slippers can kick "Socks" butt

Click on my butt and get the 1996 campaign movie! (160 K)

I would make a "Contract with the Democrats" and in my first One Hundred Days bring about the following changes:

Have Congress pay for its own postage and use the money to pay for concerts on the mall. Give Newt access to all the money that he's been hiding from the rest of us and then listen to him blame the Democrats for giving it to him. Put C-Span into some of the bars on Capitol Hill so we can get a real look at our Senators in action. Have Women American Gladiators go up against House Republicans. To protect the President even better we should put barriers up around the city to keep any more conservatives from coming inside or liberals from getting out of the beltway. Squash rumors that the reason they closed Pennsylvania Ave. was to keep Michael Dukakis from driving a tank through the gates in order to get into the White House.

Do You have what it takes to be Vice President? Are you ready to take the ultimate plunge? Then step on over to the Vice Presidential Candidate Contest

My Presidential Links

Protect and adjust our Social Security system so that I'm not working on the street when I should be rocking in my chair! To get as many people as possible to volunteer so good things start happening! To get young people to vote for useful causes. Help more poor children use computers so that they don't get screwed in life any more than they have to. To control pollution and the habitiat so that when I take a piss I don't have to worry about drinking it when I get a glass of water from the faucet. To push more criminals into confessing their crimes. (well at least its a start) A trip to my future Home! If you want to see who's sitting on their ass in your state. Political words of wisdom from Dan Quayle. MTV NEWS Rave Much? Dana's totally cool homepage Here are those High Level radar images I use to check on my potential voters and what kind of day they are having. Kris Jackson's Art Drawings Co-worker Steve Gallagher's page

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